When I heard my friend Megan talking about the possibility of attending a Tantra retreat for couples with her husband, I immediately felt the fire of desire burn in my belly.
I didn’t do anything about it in that moment, but when it came up in conversation again a week later everything in me was a HELL YES.
The absurd part is that I am not in a relationship, and this retreat was for … couples.
Here’s the deal, though: I’ve learned that things that seem like obstacles aren’t really obstacles if we’re listening to and trusting our desire.
So I didn’t let the fact that I didn’t have a partner stop me.(Not much does when I have a strong desire 😉).
And when I was feeling into who to invite to join me, Alexander Waters popped into my mind.
Don’t ask me why. We’d only met once and hadn’t even exchanged phone numbers, but for some reason my intuition was telling me that he was the one to invite.
I know, I know: bat-shit crazy, right?! But that’s how I like things; a little crazy. Some may say outrageous.
So, I invited him and — spoiler alert! — he said “YES.”
And basically what that means is: an intensive, highly intimate, week-long Tantra retreat was our first date.
So here’s a thought for you:
What outrageous request have you been withholding —
from yourself, from a partner, from the Universe —
because you’re scared you won’t be met?
Alex rearranged his entire schedule, booked his flight, paid for his spot in the tantra retreat, all in the span of just a few days.
And while it was all amazing (and definitely hot, tingly, exciting to anticipate!) … it was also a lot to receive.
He’d spent a bunch of money. He’d juggled his plans, including precious time with his son. He’d hopped on a long flight. He’d agreed to a super intense week with absolutely zero guaranteed outcome — it could be incredible, it could be a complete disaster. That’s a LOT of trust.
I felt the sensation of that — what it’s like to receive so much, especially from someone I barely knew.
I’ll be honest: it was a lot to take in and to process. At another time in my life, before I’d started on this journey of a desire-led life, I probably would have found some way to “reject” the abundance being offered. I might have believed I wasn’t worthy of receiving all that. I might have let judgment creep in. Or started a petty fight. Or pushed him away somehow.
Alex said something really beautiful in today’s podcast conversation,
“Our wounded selves create stories to prevent us from healing. They gain safety, certainty, control from those stories.”
In other words: if there is a part of you that’s carrying the wound and belief that you don’t deserve abundance, you’ll find a way to make the story match that belief, even if that means sabotaging all the good, beautiful, magical, sexy stuff that The Universe is trying to offer you.
You’ll get ALL the details in this episode, but it turns out, I asked just the right person to join me on this sexy, expanding adventure.
Even after just a week, I know that I am forever changed by this tantra retreat and by my time with Alex. Whatever happens, this absolutely feels like an expansive beginning.
Get all juice about our whirlwind week of intimacy, pleasure, healing and fun on this week’s podcast — and what happens when you say an outrageous yes to an outrageous invitation!
So that’s another thing to consider:
What are the stories your wounded self creates when good stuff shows up?
And what could change if you let go of the story and just allowed the abundance
and the pleasure and the YES?
In this episode, Alex and I share all about:
- How I invited him and his reaction
- How our first night together felt (a little awkward!)
- Our experience at the retreat
- The intimate exercises we practiced throughout the week
- Our triggers that arose during our time together
- Our s ex life 🔥
- Where we’ve decided to take our relationship next
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Bringing Care and Consciousness to Relationship Conflict with Bryan Reeves
Living Unreasonably with Jill Herman
Recapping Our 7-Day Tantra Retreat with Aimee, Sheree Savage and Alee Hoffman
Reverence for the Masculine with Claudia Lucida