Welcome to the official Desire on Fire blog! We’re going to be posting about upcoming events, sharing good news, and providing companion posts for our podcast.
To start with — this is our first official blog post! And true to form, we’re making it count. You’re not going to want to miss our inaugural post.
Next — you have probably heard that Ellie had her baby! So right now, she is in the middle of experiencing the depth and joy and challenge of being a first-time momma. I can’t wait to meet sweet Bear in person. 💕
And finally — we bring you to the focus of today’s podcast and this first post: I’m sharing (in the most honest, playful, and open way I know how) about my recent first 1:1 sexual experience with a woman.
This is a pretty vulnerable share for me, but I want to explore it out loud, because my hope is that it can open up what’s possible for other women who might be in the same place as I was.
I’m on this journey to honor and listen to ALL of my desires — which include both my sacred “yes” and my sacred “no.” And part of this work is recognizing when (and why) something that’s been a “no” for a long time might become a “yes” when the person, place, and time are in alignment.
Why it feels important to share about my first sexual experience 1:1 with a woman
If you know me or have been following me at all over the years, you probably know: I’ve always been into men sexually, but not really women.
I mean, I’ve flirted. I’ve kissed. I’ve been playful. I’ve had crushes. And even some group play experiences with women.
But I’ve never said a hell yes to having sex with a woman. For some reason, going there wasn’t something that strongly, clearly called to me.
This new experience brought up so many questions and curiosities for me, and it felt important for me to process it.
And I also thought: this might be something that would be helpful for our community to hear, because it might speak to some questions that other women have been having around this particular desire, as well.
Because it felt like a big deal for me for a number of reasons (which I share in this episode), I invited my dear friend Kelley Bode back to the podcast to interview me.
Kelley has been one of my closest friends for years, and there’s no one I’d rather have a real, no-holds-barred convo with about this first sexual experience with a woman. She gets me. She loves me well, and she has always been a stand for my expansion and growth.
Plus, she’s also familiar with this territory that’s really new to me, so I trust her insight.
So we covered all the bases in this one: the draw I couldn’t deny, the ways I felt challenged, how I stayed true to myself, and all the juicy (and oily!) details of the night itself.
My hope is that this podcast inspires courage and opens the conversation around desire, intimacy, boundaries, clear communication, and saying a playful “yes” to new experiences when it feels oh-so-right to do that.
And I believe that sharing desire expands desire for everyone — so let’s dive in!
You can listen in now by clicking below.
What you’ll learn in this episode:
- My past experiences of desiring women — and how this time was different
- How this woman challenged my Erotic Blueprint in super surprising ways
- Why it’s totally possible to have a desire and not be attached to its immediate fulfillment
- How I used super-clear, up-front communication to make this first 1:1 sexual experience with a woman the most fulfilling it could be (and what we miss out on when we don’t say the thing that needs to be said)
- What this “means” about my sexual orientation (probably not what you expect)